Big Sister: Big Role Model

I'm the youngest of three kids: Jake is two years older than me & Holly is four. Growing up, I remember trying to do just about anything to please both of them - always wanting their approval and taking to heart what they said and did. I've always admired & looked up to both of them. Now, don't get me wrong - we had our battles - but, I think for the most part we got along fairly well.
I remember...
When I was much younger & my sister wasn't home, I would sneak into her room and sometimes just sit on her bed and look around, try out her makeup, admire her nail polish or snoop through her things. I always had to remember precisely where things were or she would catch me - she knew the placement of just about every belonging of hers within inches. :) I remember going through notebooks of hers and admiring her hand writing and then going back to my room and trying to write like her.
Being the little sister, there were many times I followed in my big sister's footsteps:

I remember...
When I applied for my first job @ Piggly Wiggly, I didn't really even have an interview - I remember Bill saying that he hired Holly & she was great, so he had no reason to believe I wouldn't be. Because of her good reputation, I was automatically offered a position.

I remember...
When Holly went to college... Her first day of college was my first day of High School. From my memory, she called home often and we passed the phone around, each of us taking a turn talking to her. I remember her being homesick - which surprised me, because I thought she was happy to get away. I remember her being a little more daring than I - she had decided to get a tattoo and kept it a secret from my parents (big deal, huh?). :) I remember her sending snail mail home and writing me my own personal cards/letters. Those meant a lot to me. It seemed we grew closer together while our distance was further apart.
As Holly was leaving Eau Claire with her degree in Health Care Administration, I was starting my freshman year in Eau Claire (again following in her foot steps) with the intention of majoring in Nursing. I remember when those plans needed to change and she was my first phone call. I needed her advice. I wasn't sure where my future was headed and I didn't want to disappoint anyone. She listened and offered advice, answered questions and helped me feel at ease with the new direction - I would again follow in her footsteps and change my major to Health Care Administration.

Holly has always been much more organized than me & probably more intelligent. When I didn't pass one of licensing exams for my Nursing Home Administrator's license and had to retake the exam, she took the day off and rode down to Madison with me, lessening the stress and reassuring me that I got this. I passed. And she was there to congratulate me as I walked out of the building.

When I got engaged, I knew Holly would be my Matron of Honor. I also knew I could count on her for the decorations - I wouldn't really have to say or do much, she would plan it all out and it would be perfect and I would love it. And it was.

One thing I didn't necessarily follow in her footsteps with was children. I loved children; everything about them. And I've always wanted a bunch. Not to say Holly didn't like children or didn't want any, but she definitely did not have her sights set on four! :) When Holly & Gary shared they were pregnant I was so excited! Lucas & I had been trying for about a month prior to finding out their news and in February we found out we were pregnant too! Lucas & I were so excited and had a hard time keeping it a secret - so it didn't stay a secret for long. I was also excited to share the experience with my sister. When we had the miscarriage, Holly was there for me. She was there for me if I needed a distraction for a blood draw, or a shoulder to cry on or someone to just sit with me.
To be honest, I was a little nervous for Baby Stankowski to arrive. I knew I would love this baby, but I was also nervous of how it would make me feel about my own situation. I didn't want to be resentful or jealous, even though what happened was no fault of anyone - not Holly, not Gary, not Baby S. I'm happy to report that I don't have any of those feelings. I love Ella more than I ever thought was possible. She is perfect to me. And Holly is a perfect mother to her. And Gary a perfect father. I'm extremely grateful to them for letting me love her up so much, for making me feel welcome into their home any time. I've never left feeling I was a burden. I appreciate all the text messages and the pictures and the face time calls with Ella.

Then the accident happened. I hated to be the one to tell Holly. And I hated that I didn't have more information for her. I couldn't imagine being in her shoes. I prayed almost nonstop from the time I found out until the time I got home from the hospital that night. I praised God that Gary was okay. It was a miracle, really, that he walked away with what he did. But I also prayed for Holly and Ella and Gary and their new life, as it will never really return to quite the same. I admire my sister so much for how strong she is, especially through all of that. She has always supported me through tough times and any support I am able to give to them is my way of giving back to her for the many examples she has set.

Holly: Big Sister: Big Role Model

Love you!